Doing, doing, doing…not being, being, being.

You may be on what has been labelled the “healing journey” - going within and learning about yourself, reading many books, absorbing all the podcasts and going to workshops, ceremonies and doing the work…

This was (and to a certain extent still is) me…and doing all this I’d still feel stuck. And as much as I thought I was doing the right things…it was just that - the endless cycle of doing.

It was just another trip to the one I was on before. There was not the being.

I would intellectualise everything, and got better at articulating these things I was learning…which was another trap, it felt good to be able to able to share my new learnings with wise words, coming across like some teacher.

Another trap…

There was constant work on myself, I kept finding things to fix - further reinforcing that I’m broken and need healing. Ultimately this signifies a lack of acceptance.

All this healing becomes addictive, it can seem never ending, especially as it now seems “on-trend” - and fixation on this, ultimately is resistance to actually living and being in the game…

There is always more knowledge to accumulate, but then again there is plenty to integrate and apply. There are so many fixes on offer out there - another plant ceremony, another book or course…and it’s to identify with the process as a destination - but it’s the inner alignment which is the gold and nothing out there can do that.


And it’s the inner alignment that brings the freedom to be present with exactly who you are now, and ultimately create from who you are now - not waiting for perfection to knock on your door and tell you that you can finally live.

I think slowing down, from time to time even taking a break from external input, to allow yourself really tune in and feel yourself, to notice patterns with love and compassion and curiosity.

And allow yourself to experiment with integrating what you already know and have learnt…lean into these topics by actually being open to the experience.

To being willing to try new things and new habits and ways of being…in the name of play and experimentation. Not perfection, which is often the barrier to actually being the ideas you wish to be.

Knowing each small action is worth more than reading another 5 books.

And any perceived failure is simply an experience to then refine and reiterate for the next time.

More playfully and with more wisdom….because there is no audience and nobody to perform for.

It’s always You vs. You.